Although roleplay isn't necessarily for everyone, it doesn't have to be an extravagant theatre production. There is an abundance of scenarios to choose from, and the best part is that you and your partner can choose whichever ones best suit you. Examples of subtle power-play scenarios include the wealthy homeowner and the coy maid/butler, the strict boss and the mischievous employee, or my personal favourite, the successful performance artist and the devoted groupie. These can be effective for couples who are comfortable with their established power dynamic, or even for couples who are looking to flip the switch on their power dynamic, seeing the more submissive partner step into a more dominant role.
Another unbeatable roleplay scenario is the simple act of pretending to have never met one another. Going out to a bar or a coffee shop and "accidentally" bumping into each other or grabbing the wrong drink is the perfect way to rekindle the very same spark you had when the two of you first met. There are two ways to go about this scenario: a) You can keep your original identities or b) You could make up completely new names and professions. Bonus points if you can change your accent. The scenario should end with the two of you heading back to the "other person's place" for a steamy spontaneous "one-night stand".
Toys
There is actually a vast range of sex toys for both men and women available on sites such as Amazon and Love Honey, and they tend to be fairly affordable. Some couples consider the use of sex toys in a relationship as an act of cheating, however, using toys together and on one another can elevate your sexual experience to a whole new level.
For women, sex toys go beyond vibrators and dildos. You and your partner can experiment with clitoral suction devices, allowing your partner to control the usage of the device, teasing you until it becomes unbearable. Some devices even allow partners to increase and decrease the intensity of vibration for your partner, meaning the power truly lies in your hands. Additionally, nipple clamps bring a whole other world of stimulation to sex, which can bring you closer to climax. Although anal stimulation toys such as plugs and beads can be sensational for men, we know our audience. And 'Y' culture and high expectations of masculinity in men, especially black men, may cause some of you to want to avoid butt stuff like the plague. The good news is, there are other toys where you won't feel your "masculinity" is compromised. Placing tight, usually silicone, rings around the shaft area (also known as a c*ck ring) can heighten the sensation of sex, as well as help you to maintain a strong erection. You can also get vibrating rings to take both of your experiences to the next level, you lucky ducks.
Active Communication
This may sound straightforward but you'd be surprised at how little couples communicate their needs when getting intimate. Whether he's going down on you or you're going down on him, don't hesitate to let your other half know exactly where you want them to go and at what speed. The same applies when you're both touching one another. Be sure to let your partner know whether you prefer them to rub it in circles, or up and down. Or if you prefer them to twist rather than stroke. Or if you need more spit!
The same concept also applies to trying new things in the bedroom overall. If you're getting tired of the same old positions, try suggesting something new, or even researching new positions with your partner and coming to an agreement on what to try next. Communication is KEY.
Tantric Exercises
This ancient sex practice goes back over 5,000 years and to this day it is still effective. If you are cautious about the spiritual realm, soul ties, and being 'yoked' to others, I'd recommend sitting this one out. Meditative tantric sex stems from Buddhist and Hindu practices and is believed to weave the physical with the spiritual.
Tantric sex involves shared meditation, deep breathing, and slow yet sensual movements which slowly build up the sexual tension between you and your sex partner. There are multiple ways to do this, however, it is usually done non-verbally.
Activities such as maintaining eye contact with your partner whilst breathing deeply and thinking about the things you wish to do to one another can elevate your desire for one another. Other practices may involve closed eyes, with the focus remaining on physical touch, erogenous zones, and sensual movements such as pelvic thrusts to get each other's hearts racing. And odds are, you both won't be able to contain your desire after a while of doing this exercise.
Again, this practice won't be for everyone, however, if you are certain about the person you're sharing your body with then this can actually be a very beautiful bonding activity to bring you closer to one another.
LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION
Switching up locations can be extremely hot for some reason. Perhaps it's the change of scenery, or getting away from the same boring setting. There are two levels to this suggestion that depend on how adventurous you're feeling.
a) You can both challenge yourselves to make love in each room of the house. This could be the living room, office, on different types of furniture, the floor, in cupboards, on the sofa, in the garden, and yes, even in the kitchen if you're REALLY feeling nasty.
b) You can take the experience outside of the house, at your own risk of course. There is something awfully hot about danger and the risk of being caught in the act by an unsuspecting stranger. Public toilets tend to be the most popular choice for experimental sex, however, fields and forests are definitely a strong second.
Please do keep in mind that public indecency and indecent exposure are not crimes you want to go down for so please for the love of GOD, try not to get caught.
That concludes our X-rated suggestions for reviving a dying sex life. If you do decide to try any of these tips, be sure to check in with your partner and make sure you're both on the right page. Communication is key, but consent is golden.
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